London never sleeps. We’ve pumped it full of a lethal combination of prozac, caffeine, drugs, alcohol and useless hope, and now London has been robbed of its ability to slumber. Just like that, I have not had a good nights sleep since I started college (high school, for those of you reading this in America) and it’s driving me nuts. For those of you insomniacs who live in the country side, at the very least, you could spend your sleepless nights looking up at an unpolluted sky glittering with stars and breathe in pure, fresh air. I have nothing to marvel and admire except storm clouds, rain, hooligans and the occasional manic pigeon that enjoys flying into the windows of the homes of unsuspecting Londoners to scare the shit out of them.
If you’ve read my previous post, you’ll be aware of the horrible case of wanderlust that I battle with daily. Wanderlust and insomnia are a deadly combination of traits that could eventually lead me to the doorstep of an obscure, satanic cult that enjoys hacking up livestock for a living. I don’t really fancy that career path (I actually just got my A-Level results; 3 B’s and I’m on my way to study Linguistics at Queen Mary University of London :D) But what’s worse than not being able to sleep? The fucking racing thoughts. You know what I’m talking about; the hundreds of ideas and conversations and stories and thoughts that sprint round and round in your mind until you have no choice but to give in to them.
People ask you stupid questions, you give them sarcastic answers, they get offended or creeped out. Or both.
“Hey, man! You look like you haven’t slept in forever! You have these huge-ass bags under your eyes, wow!!!”
“Yeah, I have insomnia… so…”
*cue incredibly awkward silence in which the other person shuffles slowly away from you as if you had just confessed to being a heroin addict*
For those of you ignoramus’ out there who avoid us like the plague, insomnia is not contagious. It’s just an unfortunate curse bestowed upon an individual, most likely because of their habits and brain patterns and some other scientific bullshit that is too complicated for my mind to process. But now that you’re here and you’re reading my ramblings… let me tell you a secret. Us insomniacs? We’re crazy people, but we’re also super-awesome and ridiculously creative. Yes, I am tooting my own horn.
So next time you come across an insomniac, just remember, we’re people too 😛