So, as some of you may know, the summer holidays are almost over, meaning it will soon be the start of the new school/college/university year. I, myself, will be attending Queen Mary University of London and because of my incessant television watching habit, I have cashed up quite a few expectations… strange, deluded expectations. You all know what I am taking about; those American films and TV shows that depict college and university students having a jolly old time at a place where they are supposed to be learning but instead are going to dances and smoking roll-ups and reading poetry in a forest.
So these are just a few of the things I am expecting when I attend my first day on September the 15th for enrolment, and you can probably guess that soon after, I will do a post that outlines what actually happened. But for now, here they are:
1) Cliques. So I guess I have ‘Mean Girls’ and ‘High School Musical’ to blame for this. (For the record, I only watched HSM when I was like ten or something, and never again. I swear.) Am I the only one who believes that there will be cookie cutter groups of jocks, goths, drama queens, nerds, geeks (no, they are NOT the same thing) divas, musicians and something called the AV club? And that if you don’t stay in your designated territory, you’ll have to forfeit in public? And that there will be that one girl who relates to all the groups, and doesn’t care about the designated territory? And that the bitch of the campus will try and destroy her but end up failing? Or am I just outlining the plot for a really bad chick flick here?
2) Everybody is a secret stoner. This is where the roll-ups come into play. The stereotype goes that all the Philosophy students are pot addicts and in fact, ANYONE WHO DOES AN ARTS DEGREE is a stoner. The way I see it, all these students away from home, given a sudden plethora of freedom, who wouldn’t go a little nuts? And now that we’re onto the topic of smoking, what about drinking? There’ll be a lot of that methinks…
3) Freshers week can rival the Glastonbury festival. This freshers week everyone is talking about it… From what I can deduce, there are two sides of it. The glossy, sugarcoated version that they publish onto university websites outlines the orientation week as seven days of getting to know the campus, getting freebies, setting up in your halls of accommodation and whatnot. Putting it this way, it sounds almost pleasant, especially for someone who is as introverted and antisocial as I am… but then, you hear the accounts from ex-freshmen, and these stories sound starkly different to anything you would have deduced from the websites. Accounts of hazing, drinking ’til the early hours of dawn, crazy raves in underground clubs, smoking ’til you have no lungs and a whole lot of making out… Tell me, how is this supposed to ‘ease me into higher education’?
4) I will be broke by day 2. What with the tuition fees, lunch money, travel money and all that jazz, the books you have to buy are supposedly a bazillion pounds. In fact, no, forget all that, what about the money that goes into preparing to go to university? Like buying bags, stationary, clothes and everything else you promised yourself you didn’t actually need? A friend told me that I wouldn’t realised just how financially draining it is until I actually go.’ I’m already having palpitations just thinking about it.
5) Instant noodles will become my new best friend. This one doesn’t really bother me as much as it might bother other people. I already LOVE instant noodles, and wouldn’t mind eating them everyday for the rest of my life. That being said, the stereotype goes that college students spend their money on useless shit like booze and cigarettes, meaning lunch will either be a small tin of Heinz bakes beans (again, wouldn’t mind) or a shady little chicken and chips joint smuggled in an alley way. What’s worse is that we won’t even have the basic cutlery, because we’ll be eating out of mugs and old take away cups. Apparently.
Alas, all I can do is guess, because I could be horribly off and end up having a whale of a time! Until then, only time will tell, so expect a ‘Reality’ version of this post very soon! Let me know what you guys think in the comments down below!